December 1st 2019. WOW. Time flies fast! I feel all sorts of emotions ringing in a new year, a new decade. 12 years since I moved to Canada, 10 years since a specific moment had changed my life ( left a DEEP scar) and since, I’ve been on and off, up and down dealing with it. I actually can’t believe that it had been 10 years! My decisions, & relationships, were based of that incident going forward that clearly traumatized me. It may sound dramatic to some but coming in as a newbie to Canada, had good intentions towards people, dang, hit me REALLLLLYYY HARD. It would’ve been nice to just moved on and forget about the past but ITS JUST NOT THAT EASY FOR ME. This cycle of “hurrying” up my healing process, getting my feet back up, lowering down my guard then, experiencing the reverse had led me to do this for almost 10 years.
What did it truly do to me? Kept me in prison. I was basically holding it all in, fearfully living my life these past years because of the past. I’ve turned down opportunities, wasted time worrying & became my world.
As I enter the new year in a month, I want to dedicate these last few weeks of fully surrendering, preparing myself for a new change. It may sound so cliché but new year, new me. I can’t waste another day, week, year of being afraid, of thinking what other people would say, & fearfully living “my life”.
So,… cheers to the last few weeks of 2019 & looking forward to 2020!